If we eliminate the female offspring since we’ve never had a female remotely interested in joining the league (sorry Revenge and Dem Rebels (X 3)) then we have nine future CFCL’ers. So below I have created their teams as I would imagine they would and voila! We have a junior league, not unlike the professional soccer leagues in Europe that have developmental leagues for teams before they (the teams) get to the Big Time and Bright Lights.
Revenge – One son
Noah (Noah’s Arcs) No, that isn’t a misprint. The name would represent the trending of the team. Great draft and stocked minor league system? They are on an upward arc. Season ending injuries and Brad Lincoln’s son on the team? Downward arc. Of course this wouldn’t stop Noah from collecting his players in twos. Uptons (Justin and BJ), Claytons (Richards and Kershaw).
Dem Rebels – One son
Cooper (Cooper Rollows) – You would think he would name his team after the town that he himself was named after. Well Cooper is a renaissance man and chose to honor a wordsmith of legendary proportions. It’s uncertain how good the players will be, but the lineup card will be extremely well written.
DoorMatts – Two sons, one son is already in the league. This opens the door for the other twin.
Matt (Matterhorns) – Looks to be an up and down season with a bunch of Mickey Mouse players.
Kenndoza Line – Two sons
Jacob (Jacob’s Ladders) – always looking to move up with Tim Robbins moving from the pitcher’s mound to the manager’s seat in the dugout.
Evan (Evan Almighties) – a hard team to beat with the All Powerful on their side.
Stranger Danger – Two sons
Lucas (Lucas Cruikshanks) – Sadly the Cruikshanks are the most disliked team in the league because they are . . . so . . .damn . . . annoying. On the upside they will have the biggest social media following.
Maximus (Maximus D. Meridius) – Russell Crowe is the manager. The team looks fierce on the field, but their war uniforms make it tough to turn a double play.
Clowns – Two sons
Aidan (Aidan Quinns) – Come all without, come all within. You’ll not see nothing like the Mighty Quinn(s).
Logan (Kenny Logans) - When a player gets injured but can walk off the field, on the Jumbotron a video of a gopher will appear lipsyncing “I’m All Right”. The Kenny part would also be a nod to his favorite CFCL owner, Kenn Ruby.
Ruffins, Bulls, Beatniks and Twin Killers – kind of makes you want to have a son, doesn’t it?
I think the DoorMatts might have a slight problem with the Killers making him a grandpa ;)
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