Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Meet the Candy Colored Clowns

In 2008 the CFCL was going through a bit of a transition.  We had three owners resign at the end of the 2007 season (Splinters, Lambchops and Meisters).  We were looking to replace 25% of our owners during the off-season.  One of those new owners is profiled here.  Mike Coulter joined us from a connection with an existing owner (Kenn Ruby).  Since then, Mike has been involved on many levels of the CFCL.

When David needed to scale back his administrative involvement in the league and then ultimately retired, Mike took over the stat service connection with OnRoto, claiming the title of OnRoto Czar.  He's the one we contact whenever OnRoto starts giving us problems.  Mike has also been a consistent member of the Executive Committee, charged with interpreting rules and Constitution verbage.

On top of that, Mike's Five Year Plan seems to be paying off with their first CFCL title last year and sitting in first by two points entering into September.  When Mike first joined the CFCL the Monroe Doctrine "interviewed" him.  Shortly after that Mike provided us with a team profile.

Even though he's a Reds fan he's an important member and cog in the CFCL Machine.  It's time to meet The Candy Colored Clowns.

How did you join the CFCL?

I was recruited to join the league by now frenemy Kenn Ruby during the offseason following the 2007 year in which three teams vacated the league. Having been out of fantasy baseball for some time other than a crappy Yahoo league, I was looking for something more in-depth and challenging. After passing the grueling entrance questionnaire, I was awarded entrance into a three-team expansion draft with fellow new owners Michael "Not Roger & Me" Moore and Tim Morkert. After a drawing of straws, I landed third in the pecking order for selecting from the "talent" pool remaining. Moore selected Ryan Fraud first, Tim followed with current Clowns ace Adam Wainwright and with the first selection of the Candy Colored Clowns franchise, we grabbed the .2 mx contract of one Jay Bruce, who remains a Clown to this day.

Where exactly does the name Candy Colored Clowns come from?

The Candy Colored Clown is a character from the Roy Orbison song "In Dreams." Its significance stems from a bowling league that Kenn and I were in during our days at STATS, Inc. We would find rallying cries from movies that we saw and the film "Blue Velvet" was a favorite. The scene where Frank Booth, memorably and menacingly played by Dennis Hopper, tells his neophyte "neighbor," played by a young Kyle MacLachlan to not be a good neighbor to Isabella Rosellini, his woman/hostage, all the while applying lipstick and creepily singing the Candy Colored Clown lyrics from "In Dreams" helped get us in the right frame of mind to unleash destruction on the lanes. And besides, if I had referenced our other favorite quote from the movie, my team would have been called "Here's to your fuck, Frank."

There seems to be a good natured rivalry between you and the Kenndoza Line. How bad do you want to beat him each year?

I used to make a habit of beating Kenn at things. Bill James Fantasy Baseball. Fantasy football. Nudie card poker on bowling nights. But he has become quite a formidable foe since moving to Cincinnati. Must be something in the water there...

While the rivalry is real, we are actually quite good sports about it. When I am not in contention and he is, I root for him and see if there are any trades that might help both our teams. When he is not in contention and I am, he trades Mat Latos to a rival for Xavier Paul, leaving my team to continue scrapping for points in QS and K/BB.

Kenn may have won a title in this league quicker than I did ... but should I hang on this year, I will have the honor of beating him to the first championship repeat...and will have won my first TWO titles in less time than he did. THAT speaks to our rivalry. But most of all, he is as awesome a friend as he is a competitor.

How does the CFCL compare with other fantasy leagues you have been a part of?

I was mostly in office leagues with journalists who knew of Albert Pujols and few others. A shark in a guppy bowl. The CFCL has provided me with a real challenge, both by the members of the league and in trying to find Theo Epstein-esque loopholes in the league's constitution that I can take advantage of. Those have been much tougher to find than I anticipated. Kudos to the league's forefathers for that.

In your “real” job you do some work for a baseball website. What is it and do you feel it lends you an advantage to running the Clowns?

I'm assuming this refers to my illustrious career as a part-time fact checker/copy editor for MLBtraderumors.com. The only thing that job does for me is make me trade prospects like Kolten Wong and Zach Wheeler because 12 times a day I read that "team insiders" swear they are on their way to the American League via trade. Meanwhile, Wheeler is the Mets' #2 starter and Wong and his .2 cent contract and 20 steals at Triple A are making the CARDINALS debut this week. But I'm not bitter.

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