The Drew Stubbs Incident - The Prelude

The CFCL's history is rife with excellent stories, great memories and historical "incidents". Usually the moment an incident occurs, it's obvious. The minute Kelly had a meltdown on drafting Ramon Martinez, we knew we had the "The Ramon Martinez Incident". When the Ruffins and Kents stood up simultaneously to look in the kitchen we knew we had "The Darryl Strawberry Incident". When Monroe grabbed the card and then the crayon we knew there was the "Snookie Incident" (details to follow in an upcoming blog).

Two years ago we had a bonafied Incident, but it wasn't obvious until well after the fact. "The Drew Stubbs Incident" on its surface happens every year, multiple times. So what makes it an incident? The parties involved and the back story.

This is a story about price enforcement. Usually price enforcement occurs without much acclaim. Just a matter of one owner wanting to keep another owner from getting a phenomenal deal. But in the cases of the "The Steve Carlton Incident" and now the "Drew Stubbs Incident" other factors come in to play.

Let's set the stage. It's 2012. There are a handful of enticing outfielders available in the draft. The Kenndoza Line, Candy Colored Clowns and Dem Rebels all had their list of who they wanted and how much they would be willing to pay. Soon, the main players - Andre Ethier, Dexter Fowler, Shane Victorino - were all snatched up and the only remaining significant outfielder in the pool was Drew Stubbs.

The dimwitted Rebels were interested because of Stubbs' amazing speed potential. Apparently overpaying for a guy who may not be able to find first base with a map wasn't an issue. I remember as Stubbs was brought up that I had a maximum bid remaining of upper 20's or low 30's and shamefully I was excited because I thought that would be enough to get Stubbs. As the bidding continued it came down to me, the Clowns and Line. A quick look at the money sheet showed me Kenn and Mike could both go into the 40's for Stubbs. They wouldn't do that would they? If memory serves neither was desperate for SBs (at least not as desperate as I was). Well, I didn't understand there were other forces at work.

I think at this point of the league's evolution, I was still naïve to the fact that Mike being a Reds fan, I mean a REDS FAN, would be willing to pay ungodly amounts of money for anyone playing in the Queen City. I also knew about the "friendship" between Kenn and Mike but was oblivious to the undercurrent of "fun" that could lead to.

As it was I had to drop out sooner than I wanted and had to watch these two rivals go back and forth like McEnroe and Borg. Who won? Tune in later this week for . . . ."The Drew Stubbs Incident" in their own words.

This Is The CFCL

I will admit what follows does not put the CFCL in a class all by itself, but it speaks VOLUMES to the kind of owners we are fortunate to have participate each year.  Each owner makes sacrifices from spending time away from their young children all day on a weekend day, to adjusting their work schedule to attend the draft to making annual travel arrangements to make sure they come into town on Draft Day.

The Twin Killers (California), Beatniks (Iowa - gateway to Nebraska), Ruffins (North Carolina) and Kenndoza Line (Ohio) all put together travel arrangements to make sure they can participate live at the draft and then scurry back to their part of the country to get back to work and school on time the following Monday.

This year, the Kenndoza Line is adding an additional challenge by going out of the country on a family vacation the week before the draft. 

After posting a reminder at our Front Office about some deadlines for Roster Cut Day and Draft Day, there was this response from Kenn:

So...March 23 I will be overseas.

Know - as I'm sure you already do - that I will still not be the last to send in my keeper list. When I arrive (in the Bahamas) on March 22, one of my first items of business will be making sure I have internet access. Apparently it's going to be ridiculously expensive. The amount spent on internet the week before the draft, the hotel the weekend of the draft, and gas to/from the draft (I'm driving, not flying this year) will far exceed whatever I might be lucky enough to win. I guess I like this league.

See you 53 days.

 

Finishing in the first division 70% of the time for the past 10 years certainly could enhance his "liking" of the league.  But this attitude, held in its own way by each owner of the CFCL, is what makes this league so damn special and so much fun to be a part of.

2013 - What Could Have Been

Kenn Ruby, while waiting for the CFCL Awards Ballot to come out, played with the rosters and numbers to create - well he does a great job of explaining what he did and how he did it.  Suffice to say, he created a team that could have caused all of us to be playing for second.

 

Thanks Kenn!

 

I wanted to see if I could construct a winning team out of players that were available on draft day at their prices. So I didn't include anyone kept (and just because I felt like it, I also didn't include anyone that went in the rotation draft) and constructed a team that, if you came into the draft with no keepers, you could have bought and it would have won the league. And it cost exactly $2.60 (and for those of you nitpicking, yes, technically I should have added 23 cents to this total because this fantasy team would have had to outbid the winning bids, but do I really need to do that? Come on...I'm just having fun here).

 

Anyway, here's the roster you could have had six months ago. It may not look that great on the surface, but it's solid top to bottom and includes some stars and some cheapies:

 

C - Jon Lucroy (14)

C - Evan Gattis (1)

1B - Michael Young (11)

3B - Hanley Ramirez (21)

CI - Todd Helton (3)

2B - Daniel Murphy (13)

SS - Ian Desmond (28)

MI - Daniel Descalso (1)

OF - Shin-Soo Choo (28)

OF - Hunter Pence (21)

OF - Michael Cuddyer (20)

OF - Jayson Werth (16)

OF - Eric Young (1)

UT - Matt Adams (1)

P - Cliff Lee (41)

P- Zach Greinke (18)

P - Mike Minor (7)

P - Ricky Nolasco (6)

P - Mark Melancon (4)

P - Hyun-Jin Ryu (2)

P - Matt Belisle (1)

P - Heath Bell (1)

P - Trevor Rosenthal (1)

 

You might say...that team has Todd Helton on it! Daniel Descalso, really? Heath Bell sucks!

 

 

However, This team would amass...

926 runs (first)

899 RBI (second)

2993 TB (second)

173 SB (first)

.344 OBP (first)

101 QS (sixth)

120 H+S (tied for fourth)

3.12 ERA (first)

1.135 WHIP (first)

4.182 K/BB (first)

That's 89 1/2 points. Not bad. It would be even better if I had taken eligible players from the reserve draft, like Jose Fernandez, Tony Cingrani, and Pat Corbin, although there weren't many good eligible offensive options.

 

So next time you think you have no good keepers, remember that you can build a team from nothing and dominate the league! Or something like that

The True CFCL Legacy

I thought the CFCL Legacy was simply being around 30 years.  Turns out that’s not as big of a deal as I thought.  We’ll learn more about that in the upcoming weeks.  So then I thought perhaps our legacy would be our children carrying on the tradition started by their not fore, but six fathers.

If we eliminate the female offspring since we’ve never had a female remotely interested in joining the league (sorry Revenge and Dem Rebels (X 3)) then we have nine future CFCL’ers.  So below I have created their teams as I would imagine they would and voila!  We have a junior league, not unlike the professional soccer leagues in Europe that have developmental leagues for teams before they (the teams) get to the Big Time and Bright Lights.

Revenge – One son

Noah (Noah’s Arcs)  No, that isn’t a misprint.  The name would represent the trending of the team.  Great draft and stocked minor league system?  They are on an upward arc.  Season ending injuries and Brad Lincoln’s son on the team?  Downward arc.  Of course this wouldn’t stop Noah from collecting his players in twos.  Uptons (Justin and BJ), Claytons (Richards and Kershaw).

Dem Rebels – One son

Cooper (Cooper Rollows) – You would think he would name his team after the town that he himself was named after.  Well Cooper is a renaissance man and chose to honor a wordsmith of legendary proportions.  It’s uncertain how good the players will be, but the lineup card will be extremely well written.

DoorMatts – Two sons, one son is already in the league.  This opens the door for the other twin.

Matt (Matterhorns) – Looks to be an up and down season with a bunch of Mickey Mouse players.

Kenndoza Line – Two sons

Jacob (Jacob’s Ladders) – always looking to move up with Tim Robbins moving from the pitcher’s mound to the manager’s seat in the dugout.

Evan (Evan Almighties) – a hard team to beat with the All Powerful on their side.

Stranger Danger – Two sons

Lucas (Lucas Cruikshanks) – Sadly the Cruikshanks are the most disliked team in the league because they are . . . so . . .damn . . . annoying.  On the upside they will have the biggest social media following.

Maximus (Maximus D. Meridius) – Russell Crowe is the manager.  The team looks fierce on the field, but their war uniforms make it tough to turn a double play.

Clowns – Two sons

Aidan (Aidan Quinns) – Come all without, come all within.  You’ll not see nothing like the Mighty Quinn(s).

Logan (Kenny Logans)  - When a player gets injured but can walk off the field, on the Jumbotron a video of a gopher will appear lipsyncing “I’m All Right”.  The Kenny part would also be a nod to his favorite CFCL owner, Kenn Ruby.

Ruffins, Bulls, Beatniks and Twin Killers – kind of makes you want to have a son, doesn’t it?

Anatomy of a Pennant Race (Part 2)

Here's a look at the top five places of the CFCL 2013 Pennant Chase.  Standings as of 9/11/13.

1.  Clowns 74
2.  Bulls  73
3.  Ruffins  63
4.  DoorMatts  62
5.  Kenndoza Line  57
6.  Beatniks (Beatniks listed yesterday and today to show how they might move up or down the standings).

Beatniks VS Line (9 points separating the teams)
Beatniks could gain 1 SB, 1 OBP, 3 WHiP, 1.5 QS, 3 K/BB, 1 H/S for a total of 10.5 points.
Line could lose 1 OBP, 2 WHiP for a total of 3 points.
13.5 points in play with a nine point deficit.  Beatniks could move up.

Line VS DoorMatts (5 points separating the teams)
Line could gain 1 Run, 1 TB, 1 ERA, 1 WHiP for a total of four points.
DoorMatts could lose 1 OBP, 1ERA, 1 K/BB for a total of three points.
Seven points in play with a five point deficit.  Line could move up.

DoorMatts VS Ruffins (1 point separating the teams)
DoorMatts could gain 1 OBP, 1 WHiP, 1 K/BB for a total of three points.
Ruffins could lose 1 R, 1 TB, .5 QS, 1 K/BB for a total of three and a half points.
6.5 points in play with a one point deficit.  DoorMatts could move up and for all of August and part of September, the DoorMatts and Ruffins in fact have been been trading the third and fourth place slots.

Ruffins VS Bulls  (10 whopping points separating the teams).
Ruffins could gain 1 RBI, 1 ERA, 1 WHiP, .5 QS, 2 K/BB, 1 H/S for a total of six and a half points.
Bulls could lose 1 R, 1 TB, 1 WHiP, .5 QS, 2 K/BB, 1 H/S for a total of six and a half points.
Thirteen  points in play with a ten point deficit.  Amazingly, with two weeks left in the season, the Ruffins could move up.

Bulls VS Clowns (1 point separating the teams).
Bulls could gain 1 OBP, 1 TB, 1 ERA, 1 WHiP, 1.5 QS, 1 K/BB for a total of 6.5 points.
Clowns could lose 1 OBP, 3 WHiP, .5 QS, 3 K/BB for a total of 7.5 points.
Two weeks left in the season and there could be a fourteen point swing with the top two teams.  Bulls could move up.  And in fact, for August and September the Bulls and Clowns have been flipflopping the top two places in the standings.

Disclaimer**  This is all potential stuff.  For any head-to-head matchup diagnosed above and yesterday to happen, all the right (or wrong) things must happen.  The reality is that some of this and some of that will happen.  The amazing point to this Anatomy of a Pennant Race is that with two weeks left in the season, EVERY SINGLE TEAM has the ability to move up or down in the standings.  That speaks volumes to the parity of the talent of the owners in this league as well as the detailed attention they give their team week in and week out.  Oh, sure it could be luck or a special convergence of events.  But as we saw yesterday, this is the fourth year out of the last five where we very well won't know the CFCL champion until the last out of the last game of the season.

Further proving that point, [get this, this is amazing] the Bulls and Clowns are adjacent to each other in FIVE categories and four of those categories it is completely possible that one could pass the other.  That is eight points that will be in play until the final game of the season.

From the Archives: The Gauntlet

Today, we’re going to dip into the CFCL archives again and pull out another dusty artifact…

In 1994, experienced Roto player and Trading The Gator fan Kenn Ruby joined the CFCL. Full of ambition and high hopes, Kenn struggled in that first season and his franchise, By Kennen, limped to a last place finish, a mere 77.5 points out of first place.

In 2005, Kenn rechristened his team Kenndoza Line, and rocketed up the standings to a 3rd place finish, only 9.5 points behind the 2005 CFCL Champions, David’s Copperfields.

Apparently emboldened by his sophomore success, when it came time for Kenn to mail his fee payment prior to the 2006 season, Kenn included a note to the Co-Commissioner and reigning league champ (click to embiggen):

The simple audacity of the proclamation, which I dubbed “The Gauntlet”, was a gusty move by a third-year CFCL newbie to a Co-Founder and 23-year veteran. Yet it instantly earned my respect and I featured it as the quote of the week at the top of the pre-draft bulletin.

How did Kenn fare in his prediction? Pretty damn well. The Copperfields did indeed go down, sucking their way to a 7th place finish in 2006.

Kenn’s note was more than a prediction, though. It also carried the tone of a threat … as in “I’M going to be the one who takes you down.” Kenn didn’t exactly follow through on that threat, as it was David’s Ruffins who ran away with the 2006 title. In fact, Kenndoza Line actually dropped in the standings themselves, falling from 3rd place in 2005 to 4th in 2006.

Perhaps is all just took a little longer than Kenn expected. In 2007, Kenndoza Line did indeed reign supreme, securing the first of their two CFCL titles.

Meet the Kenndoza Line

It was 2004, shortly after the CFCL's performance in the major motion picture "Trading the Gator".  We were in need of, hopefully, two teams to keep the league enrollment at twelve.  The Six Packs and Tenacious B were resigning and fortunately we added Teddy Scott (Teddy's Splendid Splinters) and this man - Kenn Ruby.

Kenn has taken the CFCL by storm.  In nine short years he has five money finishes including two, count 'em, two CFCL titles.  He has introduced us to his mascot DunnKenn, provided a worthy foil to the Candy Colored Clowns and even while doing all this from the luxury of Cincinnati, has added his son to his front office staff, allowing him (his son) to demand the acquisition of Xavier Paul.  That recommendation alone has Kenn thinking he won't be extending his son's contract when it comes up at the end of next year.

To learn more about Kenn and the Kenndoza Line beyond the questions below, you can click his Team Profile here.

Completing his first decade with the CFCL, it's time to meet The Kenndoza Line.

How did you come to join the CFCL?

 

It’s a long story. In February of 2003, I started dating Julie, who would ultimately become my wife. I was coming off back-to-back championships in the BURP League, another Chicago-based league, and although Julie had played fantasy football, she was incredulous I would do anything besides going home with her on the night before my 2003 draft. She had no idea how obsessed I was with this game. Later that summer, I saw a listing on the old RotoJunkie forums that there was going to be a fantasy baseball movie showing at the Chicago Cultural Center in a few days. I don’t know if I was reading those forums every day since then, but I could’ve very easily missed it. I dragged Julie to the movie, and for the first time in our relationship she finally understood the obsession that was a significant part of my life. I should’ve married her on the spot.

 

I also brought my brother with me that day. He writes for Chicago magazine, and I told him he should write up something about this movie. His response was another life-changer: “why don’t youwrite something up about the movie?” I pitched the idea to Chicago and became a paid writer for the first time in my life. I’ve been a freelance writer ever since, and while it doesn’t pay the bills, it’s a nice experience to have.

 

Wait, what was the original question? Oh yes, CFCL. Well, as part of my article, I talked to David Mahlan. I was getting a little tired of the BURP League (I won again in 2003) and was looking for a new challenge, so I dropped hints to the esteemed Mr. Mahlan that if he needed anyone in his league, I’d be eager to join (I liked what I saw in the movie), and after a very thorough entrance exam, y’all accepted me. That’s the third way my life changed. I’m now in my 10^th year with the CFCL, which is the longest I’ve ever been in any baseball league.

 

How much pleasure do you take in winning your first CFCL title in your fourth year when it took the Clowns five years?

 

Heh. I’ve known Mike for more than 20 years, and it definitely gives me great pleasure to be back in touch with him now after some quiet years in there. I like to think of it as Michael Jordan and LeBron James. MJ did it in his seventh season. LeBron in his ninth. I like analogies in which I’m Michael Jordan.

 

You are one of a select few that have won multiple CFCL championships. Is that meaningful?

 

Flags fly forever. Both titles were meaningful, and very very close. The first one (2007) came down the 163^rd game of the season, and that game went 14 innings, and it wasn’t over until well after midnight. Julie watched with me and was probably as excited as I was. The second one was in 2009 and I remember the next-to-last day of the season I got a shutout from Randy Wells (seven innings, three hits, one walk, 10 strikeouts) that put me over the top, but I had to hang on the last day. It came down to the last pitch of the regular season – my pitcher vs. his hitter (I don’t remember the players involved). If the hitter hit a home run, the DoorMatts would win the title. My pitcher got the out, and we tied, but I had the tiebreaker.

 

What other leagues are you in or have you been in?

 

The BURP League was run by my bowling teammate Dave Mundo (Coulter bowled on that team well). That was a fun league. In 2001, I thought I had no chance of winning, so I took a chance on some youngsters like Eric Gagne, Roy Oswalt, and Albert Pujols in the hopes of winning in 2002. I won the last three years I was in that league. I’ve also been in the Gheorghe Muresan basketball league for 20 years. The current GM of the Houston Rockets was in that league, as well as noted baseball writer Rob Neyer. I beat ‘em both.

 

You have sent a few e-mails over the past months that seem to indicate your six-year-old son has taken an active role in Player Acquisition for the Kenndoza Line. How involved is he in the decision-making process?

 

Too much, unfortunately (why couldn’t his favorite player be someone better than Xavier Paul?). Still, it’s great how much he’s picking up on things (sample quotes: “The Graging Bulls are always in first place!” “Who has Tony Cingrani? I assume it’s the Candy Colored Clowns.”). He’s learning a lot of names, and I’m sure someday soon I will set him up in a Yahoo! League he can run himself. What he doesn’t understand is just because he wants somebody on his team doesn’t mean his rightful owner will hand him over. Then again, I haven’t learned that yet either.

 

Even though during the season most of what we do is Internet based, do you feel there are any specific challenges you face living in Cincinnati?

 

Certainly the year I drafted by phone was a disaster, but I love coming in for the draft and I feel the drive up to Chicago is good for relaxing myself and getting into the mood for draft day. Since I come alone, I get a good night sleep. Just like in 2003.

The CFCL Owners of 2005

Seated [from left]: Rich Bentel (Dem Rebels), Kenn Ruby (Kenndoza Line); Standing: Matt Grage (Hot Sludge Sundae), Eric Lamb (Lambchops), Steve Olson (Steve's Stones), Jason Grey (Reservoir Dogs), Paul Zeledon (Da Paul Meisters), Nick Hansen (Nick's Picts), Matt Bentel (DoorMatts), Teddy Scott (Teddy's Splendid Splinters), David Mahlan (eventual 2005 CFCL Champion David's Copperfields).  Not pictured, but represented by the skinny white microphone in the center of the table - Dave Holian (David's Ruffins).

As with all seasons, there are some interesting items.  Most notably, this would be the 11th and final CFCL title for David's Copperfields.  This was the last season for the Resevoir Dogs.  They would resign after four seasons in the CFCL.  Eventually they would end up doing some scouting work for the Tampa Bay Rays.

2005 was also the end of a failed two year experiment wherein Matt Grage named his team Hot Sludge Sundae (don't ask, don't ask).  Speaking of name changes, that can only explain the insane look and gesture of Kenn Ruby.  You'll notice that DunnKenn is not in the picture.  But Kenn did rename his team "Kenndoza Line", oozing with baseball reference.  So he must have been extra proud of his franchise name to elicit such an expression.  Either that or he knew he was about to nail down his first "money finish" as he ended up coming in third in 2005.

Once again we were drafting in the corporate opulence of Oak Brook.  That allowed us all sorts of technological opportunites, including having the Ruffins draft remotely from North Carolina.  We communicated with him via microphone and NetMeeting on the computer.

The CFCL Owners of 2006

Picture from left: [Seated] Matt Grage (Graging Bulls), Teddy Scott (Teddy's Splendid Splinters), Kenn Ruby (Kenndoza Line and DunnKenn).  [Standing] David Mahlan (David's Copperfields), Dave Holian (David's Ruffins and eventual 2006 CFCL Champion), Bob Boryca (Mo' Red Hots), Eric Lamb (Lambchops), Paul Zeledon (Da Paul Meisters), Nick Hansen (Nick's Picts), Rich Bentel (Dem Rebels), Matt Bentel (DoorMatts), Steve Olson (Steve's Stones).

Drafting in corporate opulence in Oak Brook.  In 2006 the Ruffins captured their second CFCL title and first since 1998.  This was also the year we welcome Bob Boryca for the first of six seasons running the Red Hots.

This is a nice picture, not only of the owners, but also of the environment that truly is the CFCL.  You can see four laptops, the world famous "flip cards", plus the constant staple of pretzel rods and Twizzlers.  America has Baseball, Apple Pie and Chevrolet; the CFCL has Flip Cards, Technology and Twizzlers.

The CFCL Owners of 2007

Pictured from left:  [Front Row] Teddy Scott (Teddy's Splendid Splinters); Rich Bentel (Dem Rebels); Dave Holian (David's Ruffins); Nick Hansen (Nick's Picts); Steve Olson (Steve's Stones); [Back Row] David Mahlan (David's Copperfields); Kenn Ruby (Kenndoza Line and eventual 2007 CFCL Champion with DunnKenn); Matt Bentel (DoorMatts); Bob Boryca (Mo's Red Hots); Paul Zeledon (Da Paul Meisters); Eric Lamb (Lambchops); Matt Grage (Graging Bulls).

Drafting once again in my Oak Brook office conference room, 2007 would see some changes. At the end of the season we lost three seasoned veterans as the Splinters (4 years), Lambchops (19 years) and Da Paul Meisters (16 years) all closed down operation.

The Kenndoza Line would capture their first CFCL Championship in only their fourth year of existence.  Interestingly, Dem Rebels would finish fourth despite owner, Rich Bentel, looking like he was dressed more for a luau than a baseball draft.

The CFCL Owners of 2008

Pictured from left: Nick Hansen (Nick's Picts); Mike Coulter (Candy Colored Clowns); Tim Morkert (Morkertzuma's Revenge); Michael Moore (Moore Better); Steve Olson (Steve's Stones and eventual 2008 CFCL Champion); Dave Holian (David's Ruffins); Matt Grage (Graging Bulls); Bob Boryca (Mo's Red Hots); Rich Bentel (Dem Rebels); Matt Bentel (DoorMatts); David Mahlan (David's Copperfields); Kenn Ruby [and DunnKenn] (Kenndoza Line).

We have a lot going on in this season.  It would mark the end of nine straight years that the CFCL had 12 owners.  At the end of the season Nick Hansen would resign (before returning four years later) and Steve Olson sadly stepped away feeling it the best thing for himself and the league.

In 2008 we also welcomed new owners Tim Morkert, Mike Coulter and Michael Moore.

Our draft location was once again the, if not so plush certainly roomy conference room, in Oak Brook, IL.

The Owners of the CFCL 2009

Pictured from left:  Rich Bentel (Dem Rebels), Matt Bentel (DoorMatts), Bob Boryca (Mo's Red Hots), Kenn Ruby (Kenndoza Line - eventual 2009 CFCL Champion), Mike Bentel (Proxy for David's Ruffins), Tim Morkert (Morkertzuma's Revenge), Matt Grage (Graging Bulls), Michael Moore (Moore Better), Mike Coulter (Candy Colored Clowns), David Mahlan (David's Copperfields).

2009 was interesting for a couple of reasons.  It was the last draft at my office conference room (I would change employers in early 2010 starting us on a two year trek through high schools and basements).  The Kenndoza Line snagged their second CFCL title in one of the closest races in history, beating the DoorMatts by tie-breaker rules.  Mike Bentel received some Draft Day experience by sitting as proxy for the Ruffins.  Notice Mike was holding the phone so Dave Holian could be in the picture.  Yes, we are such geeks that we took the picture while Holian was on the phone.  You may be wondering why Matt Grage has such a goofy expression on his face.  It's not because he's wearing his "angry eyes" hat.  You'll also notice Matt is pointing down, to the phone console, to futher emphasize the virtual attendance of the Ruffins.

Also worth mentioning is the talent of Kenn Ruby.  He was able to, yet again, include DunnKenn (mascot) in the photo.  This time carefully balanced on the brim of his hat.

This was the last season for Moore Better.  Michael Moore (not the movie director) resigned at the end of the season and his team would be taken over by Mike Bentel.

The Owners of the CFCL 2010

 

 

Pictured from left: Mike Coulter (Candy Colored Clowns), Bob Boryca (Mo's Red Hots), Tim Morkert (Morkertzuma's Revenge), Rich Bentel (Dem Rebels), Matt Grage (Graging Bulls), Dave Holian [kneeling and eventual 2010 CFCL Champion] (David's Ruffins), Matt Bentel (DoorMatts), Mike Bentel (Twin Killers), David Mahlan (David's Copperfields), Kenn Ruby (Kenndoza Line).

 

This was an interesting year.  It was to be the end of an era as Original Six Owner, League Founder, Co-Commissioner, League Historian, League Secretary and eleven time champion David Mahlan would retire at the end of the season.

 

It was the first of two years that we had to scramble for a draft location.  Bob Boryca came through big time, finding a room for us to draft in at Plainfield North High School.  Interestingly, in those two non-coporate room drafting environments, the Ruffins laid the groundwork to capture back-to-back titles.

 

This was also the first year for the Twin Killers.  With Mike joining the league, the CFCL was comprised of 30% Bentels, still well behind the CFCL record of 50% saturation the Mahlans achieved in 1984.

The Owners of the CFCL 2011

Well the CFCL went down to Naperville
We were lookin’ for a room to use
We were in a bind ‘cause we were way behind
And we sure didn’t have much to choose.

When we came across this young man
Sittin’ at the computer and playin’ it hot
And the Ruffins jumped up on a hickory stump
And said, “Boys, let me tell you what”

“You probably didn’t know it
But I’m a fantasy player too
And if you go to draft below
I’ll make a deal with you.”

And so in 2011, for the second year in a row our normal corporate digs were not available and the Ruffins came to the rescue.  They provided a room in the basement of a Naperville office building.  The room wasn’t real conducive for photo taking so we stepped out in the hallway for our close up.

From left: Rich Bentel (Dem Rebels), Bob Boryca (Mo’s Red Hots), Dave Holian (David’s Ruffins), Tim Morkert (Morkertzuma’s Revenge), Scott Strang (Stranger Danger), Matt Grage (Graging Bulls), Dan Strang (Assistant GM Stranger Danger), Matt Bentel (DoorMatts), Mike Bentel (Twin Killers), Jeff Ruby (brother of Kenn and proxy for Kenndoza Line), Mike Coulter (Candy Colored Clowns).

The Ruffins used the home field advantage to perfection as they defended their title and grabbed their 4^th overall championship.  Little did we know at the time that this would be the last year we would draft with Bob (Red Hots). He would resign at the end of the year.  Kenn Ruby couldn’t make it up from Cincinnati due to the recent birth of his second child, but DunKenn made it with Kenn’s brother Jeff who proved to be an amazing proxy, handling the bidding and tracking of players while a cell phone was glued to his ear all afternoon so Kenn would know what was happening.

We also welcomed Stranger Danger to the CFCL as they took over the league’s most successful franchise (David’s Copperfields, who resigned at the end of 2010).

The Owners of the CFCL - 2012

This is a new weekly feature as we walk backwards to the beginning.  You've seen the Big Uglies from 2013.  Each week we'll step back one year and meet the ownership.  The cool thing here is that when the picture was taken we didn't know what we were facing for the year.  But now we can look at the picture knowing who won, what happened during the year, etc. 

Here are the owners for 2012 drafting in Lisle, IL.

Pictured left to right:  Rich Bentel (Dem Rebels, in A's hat), Dave Holian (David's Ruffins), Matt Bentel (DoorMatts), Mike Bentel (Twin Killers), Matt Grage (Graging Bulls), Kenn Ruby (Kenndoza Line), Scott Strang (Stranger Danger), Nick Hansen (Eukennott Beatniks), Mike Coulter (Candy Colored Clowns and eventual 2012 Champion), Tim Morkert (Morkertzuma's Revenge).

Two interesting things heading in to 2012.  First we were welcoming back an old friend.  Nick Hansen rejoined the league after a much too long three year hiatus.  Secondly Dem Rebels and the Clowns engaged in one of the craziest pennant chases in CFCL history.  Both made significant trades right at the trade deadline and then watched as the Rebels, down 21 points in late August made a charge that left them one point short of catching the Clowns.  Going into the final day, it was possible for Dem Rebels to gain one point, thus tying the Clowns.  But the Clowns held the tie-breaker edge so they were in strong position going in to the final day, due in large part to their management of their team throughout the year.

Notice also that the DoorMatts seem to be staring someone down.  My guess is it's everyone but Nick since everyone in the direction Matt is looking at finished ahead of him in the standings.

Deeper Dive: DunKenn

Earlier this week, Rich posted about Draft Day rituals, including mascots at the Draft.

The most consistenly-present Draft Day mascot has been the "corn cob figurine" that has accompanied Kenndoza Line at the annual auction.

In a comment to Rich's original post, Kenndoa owner Kenn Ruby provided some additional detail on his Draft Day Buddy:

DunKenn is actually a basketball-playing ear of corn I got in a Happy Meal in 1993. I have no idea why. Last year he was missing on draft day, which was just devastating for me. He was miraculous "found" months later, but by then the damage had been done.
Here's a close-up of DunKenn from the 2013 Draft Day photo Rich posted:

Draft Day Rituals

You have heard over many of the previous posts just how important and exciting Draft Day is in the life of a CFCL owner.  I think to a man we would say it is the first of two Christmases each year.  There is the initial build up as pitchers and catchers report, trying to cull together a team and a draft strategy.  Then there is the week before the Draft when everyone submits their Keeper List.  At this point we know who is available to be drafted and what everyone’s budget looks like.

But over the 30 years there has been a by-product of the Draft.  There are certain rituals that take place each year.  Some are subtle and largely go unnoticed.  Others are thrust forward for all to see.

The Driving Ritual:  Okay, this one is on the personal side.  Each year I leave my home in Aurora and drive to Naperville to pick up the DoorMatts.  This has been going on for twenty years.  The only modification to it has been in the last three years when the Twin Killers have been added to the car pool.  I usually pick them up about two hours before the draft (this is an old habit because in some of the conference rooms we used we had to rearrange a lot of furniture and we wanted to give ourselves plenty of time.  Now we arrive early just so we can talk off some nervous energy.)  On the way in to the draft we’ll talk about baseball in general or observations about some of the players that were kept or cut.  We’re careful not to fall into a Jeff Stone type of situation, however.  http://cfclrebelcopperfield.blogspot.com/2013/05/the-jeff-stone-incident.html

The Mascot Ritual:  Some owners will bring along items that they believe will bring them good luck (or it could be a more sinister intent wherein the mascots are meant to distract fellow owners or bring them bad luck.)

The two that stand out to me the most are:

Kenndoza Line:  Kenn brings along a corn cob figurine that’s about two inches high.  Check out the League Photo for proof.  Kenn is standing front and center with Kenn-dunkin or a name close to that. 

For years I thought it was a figurine of Bert, from Bert and Ernie.  Kenn usually sits at the opposite end of the drafting table from me and with the figurine being so small, I never paid attention to its detail.  The color and shape reminded me of Bert, so I would always ask Kenn about his Bert doll.

Da Paul Meisters:  Paul actually brought a Bert doll to the draft for good luck.  Sure, go ahead and poke fun.  The Meisters did win a championship.  So has Kenn, come to think of it.  Maybe there’s something to this.

The Food Ritual:  There also are some food rituals that have evolved over the years.  The oldest one is Twizzlers and Pretzels.  This dates back to 1984 when the CFCL Draft was held at Mount Olympus (nickname for the apartment that David and I shared in Forest Park for two years).  David was creative with our outgoing phone message and one time included a line something like “You’ve reached Mount Olympus where licorice and pretzels are the ambrosia and iced tea flows like nectar.”  So David started the tradition of providing bags of Twizzlers strawberry licorice and pretzel rods for all the owners.  A tradition that has carried on every year . . . .except this year when I boneheadedly (yes, it’s a word) forgot to bring them.  I think the gods from Mount Olympus are exacting their revenge as Dem Rebels are currently taking up space in 9^th place.

Many years while David was in the league running the Copperfields, he would, like clock work, break out a breaded chicken patty.  He would then construct the breaded chicken patty sandwich during the draft.  It always took place at noon (plus or minus fifteen minutes).  Obsessive?  Dude won eleven championships.  I think we could all use a little more chicken in our diets.

The DoorMatts quietly have maintained a food ritual of their own.  Each year at some point they will break out either a box of Good N’ Plenty (original) or a bag of licorice snaps.  There definitely seems to be a consistent licorice theme in the CFCL.

The Six Packs (and you will see this be discussed when we post clips of Trading the Gator, the documentary we starred in) received help from Mrs. Six Pack with their ritual.  One year Kelly’s wife made him a batch of pastry bars.  Turns out that was the year that the Six Packs took the title.  The next year, no pastry bars and no title.  So Kelly made sure that for his remaining stay he always had those bars at the draft.  Turns out, the bars were not the cause of the championship as the Six Pack never regained the trophy.

That Which We Call a Rose By Any Other Name Would Smell As Sweet

“What’s in a name?”  Yesterday’s birthday boy William Shakespeare asked the question about 416 years ago.  Well in the CFCL six of the thirty-eight owners decided a name wasn’t much and felt the need to change theirs.

Two of the name changes made sense in that we had two owners who were in the league, resigned for a few years and then rejoined.  With the rejoining there was a bit of a rebirth, a starting-a-new if you will, and therefore a new name was used.

Pat McGuire ran McGuire’s Picks from 1988-1990.  He quit for a year and then came back from 1992-1993.  When he returned he named his team the Twin Picks.  Actually this was somewhat genius (insanely genius if you knew Pat).  Originally his team was the Picks, he comes back a second time and named his team Twin Picks (Twin implying a second coming of sorts, really not bad).  In 1990 and 1991 a popular TV show was Twin Peaks and Pat was playing off that as well.  So all in all, pretty good creativity.

The other team that left and returned was run by current owner Nick Hansen.  Originally he ran Nick’s Picts (not to be confused with McGuire’s Picks).  Last year Nick rejoined the league and nailed the All-Time Greatest CFCL Name with the Eukenott Beatniks.

Ironically we had a third owner leave and return.  Dave Goetz was an Original 6 owner of the ForGoetzMeNots (1984-1985).  In 1994 he turned for seven years, but the ten year absence didn’t warrant a name change.  Dave came back to run the ForGoetzMeNots on a second tour.

Four owners changed team names without leaving the league.  Rich Bentel was an Original 6 owner, in charge of the Electric Eels.  A year later through the current year Bentel has run Dem Rebels.  Feel free to go back to the April 1^st post (1984 – The First CFCL Draft) to see why the name was changed.

Another Original 6 owner, Paul Mahlan couldn’t seem to make up his mind during his four years in the league.  He started out as Paul’s Penguins.  The next year he changed to Paul’s Bunyans.  The following year he went back to Paul’s Penguins.

We also have two current owners who changed their names.  Kenn Ruby joined the CFCL in 2004 with By Kennen.  If the name doesn’t jump out at you, you have to be a Seinfeld fan.  Think (and sing in your head) Cos-stan-za.  After one year Kenn improved things by changing names to the Kenndoza Line.  Awesome, bringing in a baseball reference.

The most frenetic name changing owner is Matt Grage.  In 2000 Matt came in with a team name of Hard Hats (I don’t know).  In 2004 he changed names to Hot Sludge Sundae (you really don’t want to know – trust me).  Finally he came to his senses and in 2006 his franchise became known as the Graging Bulls.  No, it’s not a baseball reference but at least it has a sports connection and it is miles ahead of Hot Sludge Sundae – believe me.

Changing team names doesn’t seem to really accomplish much.  Definitely there was improvement with Beatniks, Kenndoza Line, Graging Bulls and Dem Rebels.  That being said, it doesn’t lend itself to Championship success.  The six owners who changed their team names have completed 70 total seasons and have only won the title 4 times (Two by Dem Rebels and two by Kenndoza Line).

So the lesson here is changing a team name really gets you no closer to winning a title.

Meet The 2013 CFCL Owners

Here are the ten heartbeats of the CFCL.  This solid core allow me to fully state with utmost confidence "30 Years of the CFCL!  (We're Not Even Halfway There!)"

Left to right we have:  Matt Grage (Owner of Graging Bulls); Tim Morkert (Morkertzuma's Revenge); Nick Hansen (Eukennott Beatniks); Rich Bentel (Dem Rebels); Mike Bentel (Twin Killers); Matt Bentel (DoorMatts); Dan Strang (sitting in for his brother, Scott Strang - Stranger Danger); Kenn Ruby (Kenndoza Line); and last year's champion Mike Coulter (Candy Colored Clowns).  [Not pictured Dave Holian (David's Ruffins); Dave drafted via cellphone connection and with the awesome assistance of former CFCL owner and League Founder, David Mahlan]