Wednesday, April 24, 2013

That Which We Call a Rose By Any Other Name Would Smell As Sweet

“What’s in a name?”  Yesterday’s birthday boy William Shakespeare asked the question about 416 years ago.  Well in the CFCL six of the thirty-eight owners decided a name wasn’t much and felt the need to change theirs.
Two of the name changes made sense in that we had two owners who were in the league, resigned for a few years and then rejoined.  With the rejoining there was a bit of a rebirth, a starting-a-new if you will, and therefore a new name was used.
Pat McGuire ran McGuire’s Picks from 1988-1990.  He quit for a year and then came back from 1992-1993.  When he returned he named his team the Twin Picks.  Actually this was somewhat genius (insanely genius if you knew Pat).  Originally his team was the Picks, he comes back a second time and named his team Twin Picks (Twin implying a second coming of sorts, really not bad).  In 1990 and 1991 a popular TV show was Twin Peaks and Pat was playing off that as well.  So all in all, pretty good creativity.
The other team that left and returned was run by current owner Nick Hansen.  Originally he ran Nick’s Picts (not to be confused with McGuire’s Picks).  Last year Nick rejoined the league and nailed the All-Time Greatest CFCL Name with the Eukenott Beatniks.
Ironically we had a third owner leave and return.  Dave Goetz was an Original 6 owner of the ForGoetzMeNots (1984-1985).  In 1994 he turned for seven years, but the ten year absence didn’t warrant a name change.  Dave came back to run the ForGoetzMeNots on a second tour.
Four owners changed team names without leaving the league.  Rich Bentel was an Original 6 owner, in charge of the Electric Eels.  A year later through the current year Bentel has run Dem Rebels.  Feel free to go back to the April 1st post (1984 – The First CFCL Draft) to see why the name was changed.
Another Original 6 owner, Paul Mahlan couldn’t seem to make up his mind during his four years in the league.  He started out as Paul’s Penguins.  The next year he changed to Paul’s Bunyans.  The following year he went back to Paul’s Penguins.
We also have two current owners who changed their names.  Kenn Ruby joined the CFCL in 2004 with By Kennen.  If the name doesn’t jump out at you, you have to be a Seinfeld fan.  Think (and sing in your head) Cos-stan-za.  After one year Kenn improved things by changing names to the Kenndoza Line.  Awesome, bringing in a baseball reference.
The most frenetic name changing owner is Matt Grage.  In 2000 Matt came in with a team name of Hard Hats (I don’t know).  In 2004 he changed names to Hot Sludge Sundae (you really don’t want to know – trust me).  Finally he came to his senses and in 2006 his franchise became known as the Graging Bulls.  No, it’s not a baseball reference but at least it has a sports connection and it is miles ahead of Hot Sludge Sundae – believe me.
Changing team names doesn’t seem to really accomplish much.  Definitely there was improvement with Beatniks, Kenndoza Line, Graging Bulls and Dem Rebels.  That being said, it doesn’t lend itself to Championship success.  The six owners who changed their team names have completed 70 total seasons and have only won the title 4 times (Two by Dem Rebels and two by Kenndoza Line).
So the lesson here is changing a team name really gets you no closer to winning a title.


  1. "By Kennen" was a the result of a late-night brainstorming session between my wife and me. She and I both thought it was hilarious. It wasn't. When that 2004 expansion team got last place, it was time for a change, and my CFCL team has been the Kenndoza Line ever since.

  2. Hard Hats - because I wear a hard plastic hat at work

    Hot Sludge Sundae - don't look for its definition in the Urban Dictionary if you're faint of heart; But if you must know, I got it from a line in one of my all-time favorite shows, MXC (Most eXtreme elimination Challenge), that wacky re-purposed Japanese game show that aired on Spike TV a few years back. That show always cracked me up ...

    Just FYI, I'm still the Hard Hats in the football league I'm in with a few of our ex-owners ...