Sunday, April 7, 2013

Top Ten Team Names

One of the fun things about fantasy sports is naming your team.  The original book encouraged owners to try to incorporate their own name into their team name.  Some examples from the Original Rotisserie League:

Dan Okrent named his team the Okrent Fenokees.
Glen Waggoner named his team the Glenwag Goners.

You get the idea.  In the CFCL we’ve had some pretty lousy names (Bowser’s Big Dogs; Z-28’s; Mr. Paul’s Swordfish; Steve’s Slackers; Tim’s Maulers) but most of our owners have used their name as a part of their team name.

Eric Lamb – Lambchops; Tim Davies – Davies Crocketts; Matt Bentel – DoorMatts;

So if we are to list the Top 10 Names in CFCL History

Honorable Mention - Bruce Elman Tenacious B  The strength of this was in  how the name was introduced.  Bruce sent out an e-mail to the league announcing his new team name and took everyone through all the possibilities of what he was going to name his team before he settled on Tenacious B.  That will be in a post later on.  Alas the B only stayed in the CFCL for two years but their legacy endures.

Tenth place – Spherechuckers  The owner’s first name was Chuck, so this has a nice ring to it.  There’s also the unintentional reference to M*A*S*H, the movie.  And there’s a hint of racism if you want to look for it.  That wasn’t intended either.

Ninth Place – Morkertzuma’s Revenge  This is exactly what the original Rotisserie owners did.  Incorporate the owner’s last name (Morkert) into the name of the team.  Unfortunately for brevity we often truncate the team name to Revenge.

Eight Place – Kenndoza Line  Many of the finalists on this list used their first names rather than their last names for their team name.  What Kenn did here was brilliant.  Used his first name and incorporated with a universal baseball reference for mediocrity.  The Kenndoza Line have been anything but mediocre.

Seventh Place – Steve’s Stones  Steve’s team name reaches many levels.  It’s an homage to a former Cub and Sox pitcher who has become a phenomenal color analyst.  It has Steve’s first name in there.  And anyone who knows Steve in fantasy baseball or the business world knows he has the stones to do what’s hard.

Sixth Place - David’s Ruffins  Perfect name for Dave’s musical preference.  In high school he would sit in the Trapeze (OPRF’s School Newspaper) room before class listening to his Walkman (think IPod for old people).  Leaning back in the desk, eyes closed, head swaying from side to side, Dave would listen to a litany of Motown favorites: Marvin Gaye, The Four Tops, The Supremes and most often his team’s namesake, The Temptations (with lead of David Ruffin).  My favorite memory is watching Dave groove to the music and hear him say “Bring it home Diana!”

Fifth Place – Dem Rebels  This may seem selfserving, but it does incorporate my name.  My initials are REB, so I went from there to have Dem Rebels.  Dem is not necessarily my political affiliation and it’s not a reference to my Chicago roots.  It’s a G-rated version of an homage to Damn Yankees.

Fourth Place – Twin Killers  Here we have absolutely no reference to the owner’s name, but again there’s a brilliance.  Mike and Matt (twins) joined the league with Mike being the guy that shows up to the draft and does the day to day management of the team.  Matt assumed more of a GM status.  So you have the baseball reference of a pitcher’s best friend and perhaps the owners fancy themselves lady killers, which just adds to the team name.

Third Place - ForGoetzMeNots  Like Morkertzuma’s Revenge, this takes the owner’s last name fully in to account.  Really strong.

Second Place – David’s Copperfields  Again, using the owner’s first name, it may not seem strong at first glance.  But David was an English major and I believe David Copperfield was one of his favorite books in high school.  Plus this will have extra weight when you read the Copperfields team profile and see all the literary connections he incorporated.

First Place – Eukennott Beatniks  The best of all time.  It was months before I was aware of the full meaning of the team name.  It took the owner of Twin Killers to point out the obvious.  I thought Nick has simply made up some name of a town in Iowa and then threw his name in with the Beatniks.  If you need some help like I did:  Eukennott (you cannot) beat nick.  Just brilliant.  Alas, last year if you were simply a member of the CFCL you could, in fact, Beatnik.  But he walks away with the greatest CFCL team name of all-time.


  1. You're too kind, Rich. You could actually have said that if you were simply a member of the CFCL in any season you could, in fact, Beatnik. I think my power ranking is dead last amongst owners.

  2. Agreed on #1 (especially like that *my* name is in there). I didn't get it either...until my six-year-old son, looking over my shoulder, read it out loud. I can't believe I missed that. Bravo Nick.

  3. There's a little more history to the town name it seems. Recently uncovered documentation show that Bob Uecker was looking to build a retirement cabin on the banks of the Missouri, just north of Council Bluffs, Iowa. In an attempt to cement the deal, and all of the tourism dollars it would bring, they wrote to Bob suggesting building up the area and blessing it with the name Ueckerville.

    Well, the missives flew back and forth, and it seems that ultimately Bob took umbrage at the idea of retiring to a CFCL secondary market. His time with the Brewers embittered him to all things Cubs. In the end Bob decided against building out here, leaving a ghost town of empty roads, unused public utilities, and a fair bit of civic rancor.

    From the ashes of this humiliating PR defeat, the town founders convinced yours truly to take up the GM mantle once again and resurrect his CFCL baseball operations. A new stadium with retractable roofing, seat-side keg taps, and a giant animatronic barrista behind the center field wall that pulls an espresso shot every time a Beatnik hits a home run was built. Public rancor dictated the name Ueckerville had to go. The decision was made to shoot Mr. Uecker the double bird of misspelling his name and forever enshrining his negative, can't-do attitude.

    Hence the name Eukennott. tmyk!

  4. Utterly brilliant! So is three ounces of espresso a sufficient season supply for your animatronic barrista?

  5. Da-yum, Rich. That hurts. Almost as much as Allen Craig's April.